Has Anyone Here Seen My Sex Drive? | Dr. Gloria Ivey-Crowe


Although women aren’t usually out asking to find theirs, many a partner is asking that questions to themselves. This question however, applies to both men and women. Your libido or desire for sex is affected by emotional, spiritual, physical, psychological factors. Some of these factors affected your libido indirectly and directly while in the womb.

So really what stars have to line up for you to be ready to go at a moment’s notice. Well, for females and I’m sure Steve Harvey has hit on it in one of his books, most women don’t just respond at the drop of the hat or dare I say draws, pants, boxers or whatever. We are emotional beings 99% of the time and require some emotional stage setting before the flame is put on simmer. We want to be stroked psychologically, emotionally and physically.

Intelligence is a turn-on for most persons of either sex. So a good place to start.

Making that person feel special on a regular basis and doing nice things “just because I love you” and not because its a birthday or anniversary gets brownie points too. But whoa, wait a minute before we get to this point you’ve got to remember that my upbringing, my parents, my surrounds, all that and a bag of chips impacted me in ways that I may not even recognize. For those of us who are not MILLENNIAL but BABY BOOMERs where we were raised and by whom most definitely affected our desires. Being exposed to theology as a Baptist, Pentecostal, Catholic, Lutheran, Muslim shaped our first views on our body as well as intimacy or the lack thereof. Just think if our parents found it hard to talk about our body parts, our menstrual cycles, any discussion was taboo. Thus how many grew up thinking it was dirty and didn’t say the work sex until well into adulthood. “Intercourse” sounded cleaner right? So being raised with a moral compass from the South, everything was planned, missionary position and no exploration of anything else was done. Men were the aggressors and women were docile and waited to be told when the man was ready. Keeps your libido in check uh . . . Men had porn magazines and videos; women had . . . I don’t know besides the ones who were considered “ladie of the night” nobody else had any real experience to compare. If you were on your cycle that gave you an excuse not to and pregnancy gave you an excuse not to as well.

For those who didn’t like their bodies and who felt ugly inside and out, no doubt they wouldn’t be having any fuel to light the fire. But truly how one thinks plays such a vital role in their perception of life and others. There are people who are considered hyposexual . There is no real desire for sexual activity at all. As opposed to the person who is hypersexual ; who desires sex all the time. Both can be disorders affecting a person in their early years and becomes more problematic when they are in more serious relationships. Low libido is not considered hyposexual but a decrease desire which in most cases can be altered by solving the underlying problem.


For many of these, lifestyle changes and modifications are easy remedies. But for many easier said than done. For low hormones, supplementing hormones with creams, gels, or pellets will do the trick. For those factors that affect our psyche they will require the help of a therapist along with medications. For the menopausal women the discomfort she experiences can be remedied with the use of lasers ( THERMIVA or MONA LISA) . Three monthly 15-30 minute sessions, I say worth their weight in gold. The pink pill was a bust and not helpful for the average women. It may prove helpful for the hyposexual arousal disorder person but not most low libido patients. However, the blue pill along with Cialis has served the men well.

So many women come to their appointments and I ask how’s your sex life. The non verbal speaks way before words come out of their mouths. I say he didn’t sign up to end having pleasurable time with his wife in her 40s and up. Haven’t you guys heard that STDS are highest in nursing homes among the elderly. Somebody is doing something? Men what are you willing to pay for themselves upwards of $100s of dollars if it will get them back in the game. Women are willing to just let it ride, do nothing and go to sleep Ladies why not invest in you and give us a call to see how we can help.

Sounds like a lot to maneuver around but YOU’RE WORTH IT!!!


Women Physicians of Northern Virginia

46179 West Lake Drive
Suite 350
Sterling, VA 20165

For more information call 703.463.9568
or visit www.womenphysicians.org

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