The Heart of the Matter

“It’s not what we think, feel, or say – it’s our decisions that reveal who we are and what we stand for.”

the heart of the matterWomen wear many hats and the stress of it all can sometimes work against us. We want to ‘bring home the bacon, fry it up in the pan, and never let him forget he’s a man!’ Indeed, that drive to have it all and be all that we can be, makes us tired, distracted, overwhelmed, cranky, and sometimes that five letter word that makes me itch. As someone who finally had to rip the “S” off of my chest to regain balance and control in my life, I want to share with other women how to operate from the heart at home, at work, and everywhere.

It really comes down to our choices; the little choices that we make each day that reveal what is really important to us. At a pivotal point in my career, I had to decide whether my husband’s career and my kids would be subordinate to my job. There was no precedent for a woman to be successful at higher levels who had a primary role in raising children. Now, I don’t have anything against having help and actually engaged a nanny to be with my kids because I often worked late and traveled internationally. However, I made a choice that I wanted to be the major influence on shaping my kids values and thinking in early childhood. I made a conscious decision that being a parent was my most important job.

That was the beginning of a shift in my thinking. Another shift came when I learned how to ask for and receive help from others. Yet another came when I admitted that I was a work alcoholic and started making choices that better served my family. It was the beginning of me learning to operate from the heart. Pressing through conflicts in relationships and continuing to reach out because I care and I know it’s important. I realized that “home” is something you bring to a place. When you operate from the heart, you feel at home everywhere you go and you make others feel at home too.

Learning to trust your heart requires taking some personal risks but making choices that are aligned with your values brings great rewards. Here are six questions to check whether you’re bringing heart to the matter:

  • Do I really understand the situation?
  • Do I appreciate how this situation feels for others involved?
  • Have I articulated my feelings to myself? To anyone else?
  • What might I regret if I make this choice?
  • Will I be proud to share how I came to this decision?
  • What story would I want to tell my grandchildren about this?

Personal accountability and courage to stand on your convictions is what distinguishes a woman in a crowd of followers and people pleasers. It’s true that home is where the heart is and since women are the heart of the home, life works best when we operate from our hearts.

By: Valeria Edmonds, Masterful You Coaching


  1. Felicia Strickland says:

    Wonderful article! Trying to learn balance myself, so thanks for the insight!

  2. Valeria – what a wonderful thought process; invaluable to a new mom or two like me. Redefining the “all” in having it all is so important. Life (and especially in this area) is so fast paced. It’s so easy to lose sight of the order of things. Thanks for the pearls of wisdom! And congrats on being published! I pray there is far more to come!

  3. Women may also have different symptoms than men. A heart attack may not produce a crushing chest pain in women, but more ambiguous signs: indigestion, anxiety, as well as severe fatigue.

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